Thank you, krisakira. This is what is confusing me. Usually T does exactly what you suggest -- ask what that part wants to say. Lately that part has been trying to put her needs above mine in ways that have been very difficult for me, and I understand the central message of not caring so much for others' needs that you completely destroy yourself in the process.

However, the tone (that was obviously my interpretation and may not have been intentional on T's part) seemed like that part's anger did not matter. I feel like that part was rejected, and since she is a part of me, I felt a little rejected too -- like if I was angry or upset it wouldn't matter?

T did bring up some good points, though. I am trying to do a lot to please a part that right now doesn't seem able to be pleased by what is possible for me to do. I am struggling to figure out how I can meet her needs and show that she matters without sacrificing all of my sanity to please her.

Also, I think you may have been right when you said that T might want me to have control over the parts. That may be some of it too.