Quote:
Originally Posted by poetgirl76
I'm sorry you are hurting, too. And I also understand the feeling of feeling alone/lonely....but what Rainbow says here is so true. I have been working hard the last few years to reach out more, to try to let people in a little more.....hasn't been easy but I am learning that there are truly caring people out there who are worthy of trust, who can be good, close friends.
Maybe right now, you're involved in the process of healing and making space for that in your life and it doesn't seem like it could happen. But let yourself do the work to heal and to make the space and the willingness for a good relationship and it will happen! In the meantime, it looks like you're not alone here - where there are others who do understand your pain, your loneliness.  |
Hi Poetgirl,
Thanks for the encouragement. I know i need to be more social and start letting people in again. I just wish i was better at being able to spot a trustworthy person, versus someone who just wants to use me or take advantage of me. I tend to be naive in the sense that, i take people's words and actions at face value (or i used to--not so much now). If someone seemed friendly and acted like they really cared, or said so, i believed them. I never was a person to suspect ulterior motives in people, i always chose to think the best of someone. But after getting disappointed and betrayed a few times, now i'm skeptical and untrusting. I don't like being this way, but i don't want to keep getting hurt.
I feel like I've hit rock bottom with friendships and don't think it could get much worse. I've already gone almost 10 years without a good friend in 3D. After the last friend devastated me, i completely gave up. I've got my husband and my in-laws, you guys on PC, my therapist, and that's about it. And the way my therapist is talking, she'll probably be retiring within the year.
My t has said i need relationships in my life, and i've read it is important, even that having supportive friends is a factor in people who live longer. But i can't decide which is worse: being alone without friends, or trusting again and taking the chance on being hurt/used once more. Right now, i've been trying to reach out in my 3D life "just a little" by going up to people in my congregation and talking more, and being back in touch with a lady my age who i use to be friends with before she moved away. I also went to lunch with a coworker a couple of weeks ago.
I think I'm at a stage now where i can handle having very superficial aquaintanceships/friendships in my 3D life. But not the deeper, significant kind, where i reveal much about myself or have to be vulnerable or count on them for anything. Then again, superficial relationships feel that way to me -- superficial. But at least i don't get hurt that way.