Hi, I've been broken up with my girlfriend for almost 2 months now. I went through the emotional grief already...or so I thought, and then suddenly a lot of things came back (feelings of whether or not I did everything I should have, or the right things...and so on).

I broke up with her...but after so many ridiculous issues and putting up with emotional abuse (started bringing the worse out in me)...I couldn't take any more.

So here's my dillema. For some reason I keep thinking about one particular situation back in Oct 2010. This was a long distance relationship, so there was a lot of flying involved (my treat ). Anyway, I had flown in from Denver to Phoenix. Two weeks before she had started a new job at a clinic (she had been out of work for about a year...so she was happy to be working again). I flew in on a Thursday night, the next day she takes me to the clinic to meet the new people she was working with and show me her new work space...I was really happy for her and to see her self esteem lifted.

The week before though, we had an argument (more like a discussion...I remained really calm) because starting on day 2 of her job she kept mentioning "this doctor" who never talks to anyone, but he started talking to her. I listened to similar stories every day about how this doctor was warming up to her and being friendly. Honestly, I didn't think anything of it for 3 days until on day 4 she tells me that she went to the break room to make tea and he wondered in there. They had a short conversation but some how this included her telling him that her aspirations were to become a medical doctor as well (she just graduated medical tech college to be a med asst...has not taken a single college course and is 26 years old. I realise if you don't know her this may not say much, but just the week before she was telling me she wanted to be a psychologist. There's so much more, but I don't think there's enough room to type it all...it's stupid).

For the first time since I've known her, she then tells me that "a friend" invited her to an office dinner next week...in fact, next Thursday, the day I'm supposed to fly into and she's suppose to pick me up. My first thought is, "Who the hell is 'a friend'", and my past experience tells me that "a friend" is normally a guy. So I ask her if she was invited by the head med tech (the lady who was still over seeing my gf trial period and reporting back to her technical school). She simply said "mmmm-mmmm" in that affirmative way. I took this as a way of her not having to lie to me.

At this point I mention that I'm feeling jealous. I said it just like that in a very caring, calm, "I love you"-type voice. Inside I was pissed off, but know that gets me no where, so I decided to be forth coming with her. It really didn't seem to make much difference as she still treated me like the jealous boyfriend. Her reply was..."He's married". I didn't ask, but I wondered, "How did you find that out so soon? Why would you know that so soon?", and "What difference does that make, married doctors cheat all the time with the hired help."

Anyway, I told her that I had no real reason to be jealous, but it sounded like her and this doctor were becoming aquainted a little unusually quick...it was her 4th day on the job. To avoid a real argument I told her it was my problem and that I needed to sort myself out and that I would figure out my emotions that night. I dropped it and never brought it up again.

At this point she tells me that she only said "mmmmm-mmmmm" because she knew I would respond this way. I couldn't figure out why she would do that to me...I felt like I was being set up.

Fast forward to my visit. It's friday the following week (her second week on the job). We get to her job, I shake hands with different people...everyone's nice, and everyone is commenting on the dinner from the night before, so indeed there was an office dinner, and "everyone" attended, no biggie. We get around a corner and she runs up and hugs this doctor (he's about 34-35ish). It's a both arms around the neck hug. I'm honestly shocked and don't know what to say. She introduces me as her boyfriend and the two of us shake hands, but it's awkward.

I act like nothing happend. In fact, I never mention this in fear of how things went the week before when I was honest and concerned and without anger.

I take the car and visit my best friend who I haven't seen in a year (guy friend) while she's working.

She gets off work at noon, so at 11:15am I roll out to pick her up. The roads in Phoenix are constantly changing and I got lost so I was running a few minutes behind. She calls me at a quarter till and I tell her I'm on my way, she's content. At noon she calls me again asking where I am, I tell her I got lost and that I'll be there in 10 min, and I apologize.

She asks, well where did you go? I tell her, and she says, "well I thought you would have gone back to my place. We didn't discuss you going to your friend's house." Okay...I'm 36 years old, she's 25...I'm a grown man, and I was only gone during the hours she was at work. This was my second visit to Phoenix since over a year ago and this was the first time I went to visit him. In fact, the first time I came into town, he picked me up from the airport and dropped me off at her house (since she didn't/doesn't own a car...this was a rental this time around)...and so I felt it would be rude to use him like that...he's like a brother to me (known him for 15 years).

So now she's saying that as a couple we should have discussed this. I was confused. I picked her up, and she's clearly angry with me. We don't talk for about 2 hours. Finally I ask her if we can talk and she tells me that she acted that way because she thought I might take the car and go visit ex-girlfriends.

Okay, so here's my confusion: How could she think this way after she ran up and hugged someone from work she only knew less than 2-weeks...and in front of me after I flew 1000 miles to see her?
Why would she do that, and then flip out about me seeing my best friend?
Why wouldn't she be concerned about the ex-girlfriend thing before hand rather than after everything was said and done and "I didn't go see any ex-girlfriends"?

None of this makes any sense...Thanks

Please understand that I'm fully aware that I should've already moved on...I'm working through this, but I still think about certain situations and wonder if there's anything I could've/should've done different...I don't want to screw up the next relationship.