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midnight_soul · Jan 18, 2011, 10:36 AM

I am very fearful that my one and only true love, my husband, afraid we aren't going to make it. Every time something good happens for us....it is immediately followed by freaking hell. I won't elaborate because it would take a book to explain however, we are both so drained that we don't seem to be in the same room even though we really are. He looks right through me, forgot our 3 anniversary, and he just seems like he doesn't care about me as I NEED. We argue so much, we both make promises that don't last etc.

The two most recent examples are:
I can't work due to my acute pain because of so many surgeries BUT...before Christmas I found odd jobs around town doing very hard core work to earn money for gifts for my kids, and a surprise for him. When we got married I had no money and had to get one of those cheap wedding bands that got all scratched up and all the white gold wore off making it just look awful. I always wanted to give him the one he wanted so....with the money I had left over I DID IT. It is the Titanium comfort fit band that is kind of grayish in color wrapped with white gold (meaning a thin white gold circle on each end) This is the one he had ALWAYS wanted. I gave it to him for Christmas expecting him to just acknowledge me with something, I have never asked him for material things but always enjoyed his gifts from the heart such as writing something beautiful for me, or romantic things from his heart. Anyway, I gave it to him on Christmas Eve with telling him this was a renewal of my love for him. He cried and told me he LOVED it showing it off with such great pride. I waited and waited for something from him.....nothing ever came.

2nd example: For our 3 anniversary of marriage (we have actually been a couple for 7 yrs) considering we are so broke I came up with a great idea. I made him a scrapbook of "my life". I couldn't do the ones you see that cost tons of money buying all the beautiful things you do in scrap booking so I bought a real scrap book, and from there went to the dollar store getting colored pages, construction paper, stickers and two of those design scissors to make all my own designs. I put pictures from my very first baby picture followed by each year on the pages showing my transition into woman hood, funny photo's of happy times, the country girl in me such as on a horse from age 2 and so forth. It had pictures of me with each of my children from their baby photo to present and also included pictures of his grown children with me because they to are...part of my life. Each page took so much time but I did this from my heart working on it while he slept in the night, or when he was at work always making sure I kept it a secret not leaving any evidence of cut up paper etc behind. I was up until 4 A.M. the night before our special day. The very last page I had the very first "I love you" from him to me, put pretty designs all around it as I did on EVERY page and then finally....a tiny copy of our marriage license with our wedding photo next to it.

I was so exhausted after it was finished; I must have spent over 40 hours working on this thing in total taking around 2 weeks. I placed it on our coffee table for him to see as soon as he would awake with a card that I also made saying....HAPPY 3rd ANNIVERSARRY, I love you.

I didn't wake up until around 9 but jumped out of bed with such excitement to see his reaction. He just sat there saying nothing until I finally asked him.....WELL???? DID YOU SEE IT? He just said yeah, it's nice but babe today is not our day. Its next month but thank you for the thought. OMG I WAS SO PISSED! So I showed him the last page as WELL as our actual marriage license and told him....what does that date say? He turned white as a ghost.....he forgot he said and didn't even act as if all that I did meant anything to him.

So, I give up. I have told him I want a divorce. I am sick and tired of being ignored and sick of him only giving me affection when he wants "romantic time" if you get my meaning. Now it is in his hands and I wait. I have moved out of our bed going to another bedroom. It is HIS turn now to show ME he loves me, he wants me or else.

Is that bad or me being a bi***? Seriously, I want true options here to those who may reply.

Sorry, that was long, guess I had a lot to let out. My bad.

Thanks for your time.