I don;t know if this will help, but this is something we do at my house. I go to bed earlier than my bf. So when I'm ready to go to bed, he comes in lays next to me and we talk for awhile. Then he says good night and goes plays computer games or whatever. I go to sleep (with the dog next to me ) Then when he is ready for bed he comes up and goes to bed. Sometimes I feel him get into bed, sometimes I don't. He doesn't like to be cuddled during sleep, so we stay on our own sides of the bed. in the morning when the alarm goes off, I get one snooze to cuddle up against him before I get up for the day. Just a suggestion.

And I agree with Sarek, sooner or later you'll have to figure out what the traumatic experience was and work on it - so NOT an easy task. I wish you luck.