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Originally Posted by justfloating
I feel like the world is crumbling down around me and I just want to disappear, go someplace new, start over fresh. I just want all of this mayhem to stop.
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I'm sorry you feel like this justfloating. I too feel completely overwhelmed by the final leg of Uni and want to disappear
Quote:
Originally Posted by justfloating
I just hate this. I realized too late that I'm in the wrong degree, and the only choices I have are to quit or finish it. And I'm in my final semester so there's really no point in quitting. I'd hate myself if I quit. Plus I did apply for a master's degree in creative writing, my true love, which I'd jump into straight away if it weren't for this pesky undergraduate requirement. So even though I've realized what I really want to do and where I really want to be, I still have to finish this stupid degree in order to get there.
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That sucks that you have to finish a degree you don't enjoy, but I think it's good that you have at least decided what you want to do with your life, which is a really difficult decision to make, especially in the depths of a depression!
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Originally Posted by justfloating
People keep telling me I can do it. They keep telling me it's only one more semester, just a few more months, but I can't hear it anymore. Every day I have to drag myself to class I feel something shrivelling up inside me. I keep trying to remind myself that I'm in the home stretch but it's just making me feel worse because "only five months" turns into "oh my god, a whole five months!"
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Yep, I hear you! I'm in the same boat. I keep thinking "only 6months" which is nothing after 6 1/2 yrs...but it's also
6 whole months!!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by justfloating
I somehow forgot to write the major essay. I'm not sure how that happened. I just had so much on my plate and then I got an email today from my prof asking why he hadn't received my essay. I feel TERRIBLE. I have no idea how I managed to screw up so phenomenally and I have no idea what I'm going to tell him, or how I'm even going to look him in the eye.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justfloating
I'm a terrible student. I don't know why I'm here. I'm sure my prof is wondering what is going on and I really don't want to be lectured on any of this, which I'm afraid of if I go to see him. My attendance record is spotty at best so I'm sure he's going to bring that up as well. And because I'd been feeling marginally better, I haven't been keeping up with student support very often so they won't be able to back me up if I say that my lack of attendance and forgetfulness is due to mental illness. The agreement here is that if you need help, you ask for it, and they provide, but it's your responsibility to ask in the first place. I just ... didn't realize how desperately overwhelmed I was until now. I have no idea what to do, or where to begin to get things together again.
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Firstly I think going to student support might help. Feeling "marginally better" is not the same as not being depressed, so don't beat yourself up for making a mistake. If you're anything like me, my brain barely works atm!! I can't remember things like what I did yesterday, or understand my lectures anymore - I'm convinced my IQ has dropped with this damn depression! :s
And you're going to need to speak to your professor, as horrible as that seems, but I'm sure it won't be as bad as you think. I hate having to tell people that I have depression, but they're normally really supportive and it really helps me cope with Uni & go in cos I'm less anxious as they know not to pick on me for Qs etc.
Anyway I hope that this helps. Sometimes it makes u feel less alone if you know that someone else out there is experiencing something similar and you're not the only one. Good luck with Uni, whatever you decide, and keep posting if you want to cos 5 months IS a long time when you're struggling.
Take care
*Willow*