I'm s-l-o-w-l-y learning that all we truly have control over is ourself.

it's true-- you can't make your mother's life the way you wish it was for her, you can't make your friends life the way you wish it were and no, you can't even make your daughter's life just the way you want for her.
The best you can do is let them know that they are in your heart- that you care about them. And no matter what lies may go about-- in the end-- if one is truly good-- it will shine through..... it takes VERY much patience though.... doesn't usually happen overnight or even in a year or two.....(it took over 20 years for some of the extremely hurtful, flaming lies about me to dissolve-- we're convinced that some in the family have far worse mental issues than our own)

Can I ask-- what have you done for "so it goes"? are you being a good friend to him? that is something that is all too often overlooked(I overlook "fins" all the time).... but..... as I've been told and am now starting to realize--just how important self care is! Some of us aren't used to "care" at all, except when it comes to protecting others.... growing up, life wasn't about us-- not EVER... so we carried that "torch" into adulthood-- the torch of non-self care.
I'm finding that just even a tiny bit of self care can put one in a better frame of mind-- start a hobby, join a book club, start an exercise plan/program and stick to it, eat healthier-- these can all be self care. I had therapy as my self-care and also reading and now I've added a third one-- learning a new language.

It's such a struggle, I've been there and often go back there....
be as good to YOU as you have been to others.I think you could benefit from such.

take care,
fins