Thanks, Symbiosis.
4 years.
I haven't really functioned very well during them (in terms of sleep, job, self-care, etc). The thing I have been doing is going to lots o therapy. And Al Anon occasionally.
I think, I hope, I am making progress. I mean, I know I am. It just feels SO slow.
I have a hard time keeping up my self esteem and "self-posession" when living in a relationship. Because (I think) a lot of my self esteem has been based upon how well I function independently in life. I don't exactly know the healthy way to cope, function, excel, while at the same time being in a relationship. I want the two to come together but so far when they do, I freeze up like a computer running conflicting programs.