No, don't give up. I truly do understand the self-hatred you have for yourself, and the fact that you didn't even feel the cuts. As for any of this being normal...well I don't know what that is...I just know that this is just how it is for cutters. At least this is how it is for me. Everything you've said is exactly how it is for me.

Yeah, the advice we give to prevent yourself from cutting doesn't work all of the time, and I understand that, but try to hang in there.