Widgets,

You deserve help if you desire help. You are no less valuable than any of us, or less needy than any of us. I spent a long time trying to deal with my self before I got help, and my biggest regret is not having gotten the treatment earlier. It is a daily battle for us, and some of us fair better than others... but not a single one of us is better or more deserving than you.

I thought that I would not try to go through with it for the same reason that you do. It was my connection to my brother and wanting to be there for him, in the end I was overwhelmed with thoughts of suicide. I came unglued and thought that not even that mattered any more during one of my darker depression episodes.

I was lucky to have my brother in the end as he interrupted my plan, and saved my life. Lucky for me, the connection that we share made him decide to change his plans and check on me. Had he been 10 min later I would most likely not be here.

It was him urging me to get help that made me relize that I was worth saving. So like my brother urged me, I will urge you to do the same. Get help, you are valuable, and you would be missed. The thoughts and the rationalization that you would not actually do it are where the danger is. It is once your rationalization is comprimised that we do the things we thought we would never do.

We do not need to live in the shadows, we are not alone. We are worthy of all the assistance that is there for us.