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sj0401 said:
Why is it that I am supposed to be taking better care of myself but when I reach out to do this I am told I am selfish?

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Oh, I recognized myself in this sentence. Really. I was going truogh it almost every day - if I did something for somebody I was told that "I didn`t have to" but if I did not and if instead of playing "good wife" (toghter, sister, friend) I did something for myself, than I was categorized for being SELFISH.

I cryed a lot, I was feeling guilty and very bad but I understood that I am the only one who can protect myself. Well, I quit being mad or pity myself and started acting as I should.

So - no tears anymore. I am taking care of others but first of all I am doing things I am suposed to do for myself.
My logic is - since I am called selfish anyway, than let me give them at least the reason to think so.

It is also the matter of decision. Take care of yourself, do things which will help you to feel better and exercise on your selfconfidence and selfesteem.

But, on the otrher hand you are responsible for yourself and you have to think about your own needs, desires and choices. And if it happens again, just ignore negative comments and continue doing your things.

Take care