I'm so glad that you came here to open up about all that hurts you. This is a community of understanding people that all suffer from pain caused by mental problems. I have also thought of suicide many times and felt worthless. There is a part of me though that still knows that suicide is not the right option. It's a waste of human life. Do you have a psychiatrist or therapist? You need someone to sort some of these feelings out. Don't give up.

Z