Went to T. today. Went well, overall. Got home & started to put my dogs out. A stray dog from the neighborhood came into the yard & Pepe', my best friend, took offense at the stranger coming into his territory. He took off after this little guy before I even knew what was happening. I hadn't gotten Pepe' on his leash yet & he just ran after the unwelcome guest.

The two ran across the street. I screamed so loud that I was heard throughout the neighborhood. They both made it to the other side. I was so scared! I have some physical challenges & I am not able to run after Pepe' & I was terrified of losing him forever.

I go get the phone to call a neighbor for help, but when she answers, I see her fiance' is already on his way. Apparently, he heard me scream from 4 houses away!...

I told him that Pepe' ran off & he went after the chihuahua. My best friend was back with me within a minute. Everything is fine now.

So what's the problem?

This whole incident upset me so much, I am still not OK. It was 5 hours ago!

Once I got back inside with Pepe' I held him & just cried & cried. He didn;t seem to understand why I was crying, but he licked my tears away. I talked to him the whole time, explain to him why he should leave me ever, but he had no clue.

In the short amount of time he was gone, in my mind, he had been ran over by a car, gotten lost, become a street dog, gotten diseases & had to fight for his existence, while I wasted away emotionally because my best friend was gone.

I am not sure I could live without this little guy. I know my life would not be as tolerable. He helps me to get through the day. He is my service dog & my best friend. I have other dogs too, but I have told Pepe' is my .

So, I have tried some skills from DBT to calm myself. I have tried distraction, self soothing & improving the moment. All have helped somewhat, but I am still not back to baseline. I thought I would allow myself to ramble here, as finding someone who understands might help too.

If all else fails, there is always Ativan. I am trying to use that as little as possible. Anyway, if you've read this far, I thank you.