Yack, that post pulled it all together for me. I don't know how you can do it but I do know it's possible for you to get out of that situation. You are being re-injured everyday. Sometimes older people offer to share their home with someone who will be there nights and maybe clean or cook some. It is worth considering. It is called Home share. You maybe reacted to the trauma with your old BF in a way that was amplified by the abuse from your father. GET OUT! Be safe, care for yourself and get away from this tyrant.