Thank you Perna. The only reason I ventured into this relationship is because I had known her for 4 years (almost 5) and we use to live in the same city not long ago. She contacted me on Facebook once I left and we began discussing thing neither one of us realized the other had in common.

Ultimately...this scenario along with a few others in a very short time frame painted the truth of who she was. During the year and half that we did not have contact, she had divorced and then turned to drugs (Ecstasy) and the Rave lifestyle...both of which she never struck me as. When we reconnected, she was done with both, so I was none the wiser...in my mind it was as if nothing changed.

It wasn't until we had gotten deep into the relationship that I realized she was not who she claimed to be. While she never appeared to lie to me or cheat on me, she did play a lot of emotional manipulation games to try to make me jealous.

I'm sure she was still trying to recover from her divorce and childhood problems. I recently spoke to my ex-wife (we're actually good friends). We divorced 7 years ago and she told me that it took her 2 years to stop obsessing over our relationship, but up until a year ago she simply wanted to hurt every man she dated. Now my ex-wife is depressed and lonely.

I realize this woman's problems are not mine to deal with. When we broke up, the final straw was that I had asked about her when we could sit down and discuss our long-term plans as far as moving in together. At this point, she had already said she wanted to move here and wanted to have children with me, so it didn't seem so far fetched.

Apparently my timing for that question was off. I recieved a text & phone lashing about how selfish I was and that I was giving her what she needed. I asked her what she meant...she simply said "good night". She ignored me the entire next day as I sent text messages telling her that I'm here for her and would discuss whatever the problem was.

We spoke that next evening for 5min and her voice/personality was very flat. I almost feel like I was talking to a cardboard cutout. We exchanged I love you's and I told her I would call before going to bed. That was the last I heard from her as she turned her phone off. I left a message breaking up with her...so no, there was no adult break-up or mature detachment.

I've never tried to contact her as my pride is simply too strong, but being human, I've tried to figure out if she had a personality disorder or if the previous use of Ecstasy depleted her Seratonin. I only say this because when we reconnected after 18 mos I recall thinking that she didn't smile much...not at all in any photos, and she wasn't the vibrant person she once was. I summed it up to life circumstances and pressed on.

She also suffers bouts of depression, I had to constantly tell her she was doing well and moving forward, she was having jaw clenching problems, and anxiety attacks (even at her new job). I read up on Ecstasy use and there are people posting that they have these issues even years after sessation from the drug, plus various psychosis similar to PDs. These people were once very happy and normal.

Anyway. I've read all the posts to this point and I appreciate everyone's input so far and advice. I'm doing far better today than 3 weeks ago. I guess my curious mind always needs answers and I've finally ran into something in life where I may never get "the answer". I have to be alright with that.

Further input is always welcome.