You feel betrayed and angry you could not get what you want. One either has to "act" the anger out or take it in; only two directions and you have chosen "in". Can you join or start another group and get the education/experience you want? That would "show" these people and make it an act "out" of the anger rather than being anxious and depressed and left feeling like you have nothing and have somehow done something wrong. You have to do something positive with your anger or it will leave you feeling alone, anxious, and sad. Think of some way to "show" yourself (and maybe these people even) that you stand up for yourself and are on your side.