What a struggle you''ve been through! After reading your post, several questions and thoughts come to mind:

First, in the paragraph below, you said your DD was assessed by a specialist. What kind of a specialist? (Pediatrician, child psychiatrist, child or education psychologist, counselor, other?) Based upon what you've written, I'd want a second opinion and, maybe, a third, even if I have to pay for them myself and not wait for the school to handle it. It took my sister several years and several specialists to get a diagnosis for my nephew, who, finally, was diagnosed with Tourette's, ADHD, Asperger's, and hypothyroidism. (Has your daughter's thyroid level been checked?)

Next, who gave you the "results" and what form did they take (oral, written, charts, etc.)? (It sounds as if you were not given results directly by the specialist or school.) You need a thorough explanation that addresses each of the questionable behaviors. Don't let them put you off with a bunch of technical language. Insist on a clear detailed explanation.

Obviously your DD is not "fine." You are her mother; you know. Certain behaviors such as hitting other students could, to a degree, reflect disciplinary behavior at home, but the combination of other behaviors you described--having difficulty sitting, being highly distractible, being social but having difficulty keeping friends--sounds more like ADHD or a related biochemical disorder. Suggesting there is a problem at home is not an acceptable explanation for those behaviors.

Finally, I can see you're a caring mom, but you've said nothing about individual or family counseling. It might be something you'd want to consider. Your health system is so different from ours, and I have no idea where mental health is in the picture, but, if counseling is an option, it might be another avenue to getting a realistic diagnosis and/or getting some relief for your child and your family.

Keep fighting for your child! Don't let the school system--or the specialists--put you off as they will do! You know there's a bigger problem! At the same time, continue doing what you can to change the climate at home as it sounds like you've been trying to do. Your child needs one quiet place free of distractions that she can feel safe and calm.

Good luck to you! My son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was six. I was not as good an advocate for him as I could have been. I found that out years later when I was diagnosed with ADHD myself. If you believe your daughter has biochemical behavior issues, read all you can on the subject. Don't give up. Driven to Distraction by James Hallowell is a good place to start.

But after months of trying to get help, she was assessed by a specialist 4 months ago and we filled in questionnaires, the learning mentor at the school said she thought my DD had ADHD, but today we went back for the results and was told the school have said they think she is fine and the specialist has said the same!