Melbadaze, what you suggest sounds likely and is really good to hear that you have had similar, or at least that you recognise, this experience. I think the slowness of it all frustrates me but then I also know that when we go 'too fast' it is too scary...it such a horrid balance to try and maintain. I'm less frustrated than I was last week though about it all which is good though! Thanks for your advice and care.

Sannah i can't understand where these feelings come from but I'm unsure how much it matters to be able to understand that, because what I really want is to move forward and leave these feelings behind me. I think if things are 'complicated' like my T says its possible I'll never know...