I'm still struggling with this one. I talked to my friend, who is also my cousin, who was abused with me when we were little and asked her about this; about whether or not there was anything to it or if my mind was just making a weird connection. She got really quiet and said, "What DO you remember" and then very nearly word for word described the experience I could recall. I'm not sure how I'm feeling about this. I want to self harm, to put things back into an arena I can control. I'm trying really hard to keep it together at this point. She never forgot anything from our childhood, and although she doesn't "salt" my memories at all, she is someone I can go to when I have those big, black blobs floating over what I can see.