Quote:
Originally Posted by Squiggle328
I have been somewhat excited about planning what kind of 'game' I will think up for us to do. It will for sure be a totally different experience. I am thinking that she has probably never had a client come in and want to play a get-to-know you game!
Of course, I still have that blasted anxiety that I hate. Every time I think about her, I become a nervous wreck! I just don't get that. I like her, we get along well, she does not intimiate me, or make me feel bad. So why does the mention of her name send me into anxiety so bad?
I do like seeing her, even though I sound like I don't. I actually count down the days between our sessions. I wish I could afford to go weekly! At least for a little while.
I just wish I could get past the feeling of thinking that me being in therapy is stupid! I wouldn't dare tell a soul other than you guys on PC!
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How often do you see her?
And I know what you mean about the nervous feeling.....it's not like my T scares me either, or intimidates me, or makes me feel bad. However, I think what
does scare me is how I feel and that someone is going to
see how I feel....when I go in there, I know that I will be facing myself, my feelings, and there's no way around being honest....somehow, when she looks straight at me and waits, I find myself compelled to be as completely honest as possible. Being very honest is very hard and can be scary.....
I sometimes feel weird about being in therapy too.....weird about needing it, weird about being such a mess of emotion, weird about paying someone to help me untangle it, weird about being so vulnerable.....I feel like a small child sometimes, too, which is also uncomfortable. But it's OK, it's not stupid to be in therapy - nor is it stupid even to feel like it's stupid!
It's just all part of the package, part of the process.
