This is gonna be pretty long, sorry Im definately spiraling back into a depression cycle again. It hasn't even been 2 weeks since the last bout..

I 'broke up' with my ex last night. We actually met when I was 19 and I just turned 23 a couple weeks ago. In the beginning it actually seemed like I finally managed to find a person I could genuinely connect with for the first time. The cirumstances were terrible (he had just ended a 5 year relationship) but with a long of snooping and since his best friend was a really good friend of mine, I found out that while he had been persuing me so intensely he hadn't even broken up with his ex yet.

So ok, we began dating and we just clicked..we both came from rediculously abusive families and we've always felt the most amazing connection when we confided in each other so openly . He knew all along that my family is muslim and my parents are just crazy, but he eventually couldn't handle the fact that I couldn't just sleep over all the time and introduce him not for my sake but his..which he couldn't accept. When he broke up with me, he said he couldn't deal with not seeing me, but the reality was, he just wanted sex..because that's all i could offer him.

So a year goes buy and his aunt was getting married and assumed that i didn't want to go or couldn't sleep over or whatever b.s and so he takes his best friend and ends up sleeping with her. He had always reassured me that she's like a little sister and when he sleeps over at her house he would sleep in her bed-but nothing ever happened ofcourse.. He didn't care enough to tell me so a year later he admits it during a fight via text. He then continues to sleep with her while we were broken up, but eventually I ended up going back to him. It's been almost 2 years since he's told me and I still couldn't forgive him or trust him knowing that she's still a HUGE part of his life.