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First I would like to say that a true gift is given out of love and expects nothing in return. In my opinion it cheapens the thought and work I put into a gift if you run out and pick me something up. If I give you a gift, big or small, it is because something in that gift made me thing of you. A gift never belongs to you to begin with, it has always belonged to the receiver and you are merely the messenger.
You are angry and hurt. Those are valid feelings. But what you are doing to express those feelings is destructive on so many levels. It is not healthy for either of you. I honestly don’t mean to be offensive, but you’re acting like a spoiled toddler. I get it, you need a response that will make you feel loved and needed. I’ve been guilty of this myself, but if he is able to respond in a way that gives you what you need right now it will be short lived, and what will you do next time to get those needs fulfilled? How do you outdo yourself? My point is that unless you find a healthy way to get through this, this relationship is doomed.
If your husband is depressed, then your actions are only re-enforcing the negative feelings he already has. If he is unwilling to seek help right now, how about getting some yourself? Learning positive communication skills is a step in the right direction. Find a therapist that you are comfortable with and when the time is right ask him to come along.
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I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children.
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