i can relate to that omers...i have been the "out front" person for a very long time, and it is just recently that others have begun to step up and be out on their own, or with someone watching over them...i understand the feelings of being now in the background, and sometimes not even that close to "the action". i feel worthless at times, even though i knew this time would come, and the others would want to be out with me, or at least looking over my shoulder. you are right, it is not a bad space to be in, just a strange one...i am out less and less these days, although it tends to be somewhat strange when i am out for more than a couple of days...i guess it is time that we jewels find a new job for me so that it will not be a difficult transition to being more in the background...

there is nothing wrong with being in the background...but i do think that your system should find you a new job you can do so that the feelings you are having won't be so hard to handle...

you will never go away, you will never die, you always will be, i think you are wondering if you will die...but you won't...you are too valuable for that...my T says when it seems like we are going to die, then there is something that is going on within that is distressing you...perhaps you are not co-conscious with this new part that is taking control right now...and if you are not, then there could be repercussions if, as you say, she got you into a lot of trouble before. stay alert, stay vigilant so that you can step in if need be to ward off any potential problems...

i wish you well...

Jewels