My mind constantly goes out of control sometimes. Like I'll be thinking about something, then something related comes into mind and so on, and so on.

Last night I was doing this very thing. I have this problem where my feet itch really badly and nothing helps except for standing on them. Well, I thought how nice it would be for them to be on the floor, then that triggered the thought of me putting them against something. Then I thought of things that feet could go against, then I thought about if your feet were even in a casket, but no they're not, they're outstretched. But anyways, then I thought about a body in a casket, imagining the feet...then I thought about my mother's feet being outstretched, then the thought of my mother, laying in the hospital bed that hospice provided to her for free when she had cancer (and died there on that bed). Then I thought of the position she was in when she died...then the tears start to flow. I can't even think of it now without bawling my eyes out!

A simple thing for me is never really simple, you see. My thought association always seems to go to something negative and heartbreaking. I can't seem to stop it because I never know where it's gonna lead. And all this happened in just a few minutes or less.

I just miss my mom so much. I guess it comes out everywhere.