So i'm sitting at my mothers visiting her when she feels the need to say "Have you been gaining weight". I say "does it look like i have gained weight?" and she makes a really disgusted face and says "yeah". Now ordinarily i would have had a breakdown, or thought there was something wrong with me, been really negative saying things like (your so fat your own mom can't even stand you), isolating myself back to my wonderful comfort zone of my bed, stopped answering my phone and started calling in sick daily for work so i wouldn't have to deal with anything by leaving my bedroom. But you know what i did instead.....i thought to myself...now why would anyone say that to anyone else....i mean how could you say things like that to people and not expect them to feel hurt? I came to the conclusion...that my mom is a witch with a capitol B. Instead of turning inwards and blaming myself...i really just thought there is something wrong with that woman. this is the FIRST time in my whole life that i have done this. I am so proud of myself

I told my sister later that evening what had happend, i told her about the revelation that it's actually not me..all these years i though everything was wrong with me...and now i realize that other people have some real issues and thier actions are totally on them.I was really thrilled.

Unbeknown to me she decides...to tell my mother....all she told her was that i was "hurt" by what she had said. So i get a call from my mother where she apologizes....but it's always in her "mother" way...so..it's an "I'm sorry BUT i didn't mean to hurt you". So i say.."what did you think asking me if i gained weight was going to accomplish"....and she says... "I just didn't know if you knew". So she says...."are you mad?" I say.."no...but please don't say things like that to me anymore because it really just makes me not want to have a relationship with you." And you know what my wonderful mother says? She says " you yell at people all the time and hurt their feelings and they don't threaten to not have a relationship with you.". I am fairly certain at this point that this woman does not understand the concept of an apology. So i hang up. I call my sister and ask her...why in the world she feels the need to tell my mother...i mean she knows our mother, she knows exactly whats going to come from telling my mother this....so anyways now for the whole point.

I got mad...and i am pretty sure i have every right to be mad....and if being angry stops me from beating myself up...i think this is really good step in the right direction. However i am willing to take some feedback here....is "not being hurt" worth essentially "losing a relationship with my mother the miserable harpy"? I certainly think it's worth it....