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Jan 20, 2011, 05:15 AM
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 6,543
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Hi Matthew ~ I'm so sorry you have such pain. Are you in therapy?? You should be. You need to have someone you can talk to and tell your fear to. I've been in and out of therapy all my life ~ and now I'm out, finally. But therapy has done me a world of good. I didn't want to live either for a long time, but i'd never kill myself.
Matthew, God IS with you. The reason you don't feel His presence is because YOU stepped away. He's walking with you right now. You need to get off drugs so that you can FEEL --- drugs numb our ability to feel our senses accurately. Yes, you're depressed and drugs DEPRESS you. By taking them, you're making your depression WORSE. You have to stop taking them. But you're going to need help ~ find a therapist and get some help, please. You owe it to yourself. We don't want to lose you, and neither do your parents!!! You are VERY important to many many people!! Suicide is a permanent answer to a TEMPORARY problem!! Please erase that thought from your mind.
We'll be here to listen whenever you feel like talking. But put in a call to someone ~ a good therapist. In the meantime, God bless you and take care. I hope to hear from you soon. Hugs, Lee 
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