"Lately that part has been trying to put her needs above mine"

That part.......... is you. A part that is fighting for you, not against you.

Sometimes things do get hard to understand. Writing things out is a great way to go.

All parts are equally important even though they may not behave, or adhere to socially accepted norms. It may feel like civil war inside. All the parts want what is best for you.

sorry just dribbling on here.