Hi there,

I am very lonely and depressed and been having the worst luck. I have been out of work for a good chunk of 2010. I found a job as a stock boy at whole foods in august. In October my wife of 12 yrs left me. I was so distraught and depressed from that, it affected my work as a lowly stock boy. Keep in mind I am 43 years old and have worked in Inside Sales and could only find the job at wfs. Just a few days ago, I was let go because my speed wasnt up to par to the younger workers, I guess. I thought I was doing ok, even though I didnt like the job at all.

I am staying at my grandmas vacated house, she is in a nursing home and I am very depressed. I still love my wife, but all she wants to do is discuss the business aspects of moving on. In a way, I dont blame her for leaving me, my career has been sporadic with lapses in work and that can put a strain on things. She has had a history of depression, but lately she seemed liked she changed wearing different clothes and before she left she had wanted sex differently than in the past. I am not sure, what is going on with her, I tried talking with her on the phone and she has said she has moved on and is happier. Then I get emotional.

I feel very low with thoughts of suicide periodically. I am in therapy, which is good.. I am still looking for answers on why I cant hold a job for a period of time. I,ve been to a couple of psychics to see what they can do. they told me to meditate which I started to do and exercise was another suggestion... I feel lost, I am looking for answers and it feels like I am grasping at straws..

If anyone can give me advice, it would be greatly appreciated.. God bless.. Sorry for my rambling