However you get the help you need, it's not a lie, it's just a call for help! If you don't have the words to explain to someone what you need, if you yourself don't understand what is going on inside you, you have to resort to action, use your symptoms; the panic attacks may have helped you get the help/attention you needed at the time; I would call suicide lines but I wasn't "really" suicidal. I did finally get good help and grow into a person who could identify and use that help. Have a little compassion for your wordless self! She's doing the best she can to help you!