I hope we're not engaged to the same guy...I was hoping to be his ONLY wife! he he

You are so welcome - I'm glad something I said was helpful to you! I can tell you this - if I had never suffered from depression, I would not be able to understand it either. It's really hard to comprehend the mind can cause so much pain and turmoil to the point someone cannot function. Unfortunately, it really can happen and it is frightening to be in the holds of it.

It's really weird because after my last episode a couple of years ago, once I was on medication and feeling back to "normal" I asked my fiance and some friends "what did it look like from the outside?". It just seemed strange to me that I was even functioning at all, much less ever smiling or laughing. That was my big question - "did I laugh?" They said, yes, of course you did and joked around, etc. The differences they noticed were that I was much more irritable than normal, slept much more often, and seemed to isolate myself from them. They said I was mad a lot and could tell my thinking became distorted because I would get mad over things I normally wouldn't think twice about or would just joke around about. All I remember is a dark, heavy, cloudy feeling and that my feelings were always hurt and I was always crying. I guess my point is it looks so different from the outside that I know it can be hard to understand.

I would be happy to talk anytime you like! Let me know how you want to go about it or if you just wanna chat in here or whatever. Thanks for the response!