I was a little concerned because you talked about how secret/surprising your gifts were; how was he to know you were going to give him something and that he "should" give you something back? If you have no money and pretty much decide to not give each other gifts, it actually becomes a burden if one party breaks that unspoken rule and does give a gift and not only a "gift" but a special gift.

I would feel badly for him, that he honestly got the date wrong; I know it took my husband of 21 years many of them to get our dates right; his birthday is August 23, our anniversary is September 23 and my birthday is October 26, LOL. The anniversary and my birthday dates often got/get mixed up.

I would think about your giving gifts to him and why you do it. Gifts are supposed to be exactly that, no strings attached, no expecting something in return. Holding someone else emotionally hostage because they don't give you a gift when you give them a gift makes for a difficult time for both.

Be honest with yourself and him, if you want a gift for a certain date, if your birthday or anniversary is important to you in that way, you have to let him know; he's not a mind reader! I explained early on that I must receive a chocolate Easter bunny every Easter from my husband and now, guess what, it's a fun tradition that has us both laughing when he has to scramble last minute to get one.