Hi everyone,

I'm new to the forum and I'm struggling with some very vivid emotions right now. I was diagnosed as having BP Type 1 two months ago (after being misdiagnosed as having depression and schizoaffective disorder). I'm 31 now and have only had one "bad" manic episode (which cost me my high-profile career and my "close" friends) and several bouts of depression before and after my manic episode.

I'm also an ACOA and my dad's worsening addiction and my mum's inability to cope and constant unburdening on me, coupled with my high-stress job and other life stresses, triggered my BP episodes. After my mania, I found a psychiatrist who misdiagnosed me as depressed and put me on anti-depressants and anti-psychotics. I eventually switched to my current pdoc who correctly diagnosed me and is now gradually switching me to sodium valporate.

That aside, my problem is that I live with my parents and I feel that I have to keep "pretending" when I have my mood swings...because when I get angry, defensive or just plain apathetic about some things, they tell me to "get over it" and "what's wrong with you today? why are you in such a bad mood?" or "i don't know what to do with you". I'm angry, frustrated and sad right now, especially since I still feel a sense of loss and self-blame over all that's happened to me. I've been depressed over the past two days, spent most of today crying quietly in my room, moody and snappish to my parents. I just felt so sorry for myself, and angry...my dad has mood swings (he is in recovery now, has been sober for 3 months...so far) but that's because the years of drinking has affected him mentally. And I was so angry because I was living a healthy life and not drinking/smoking and yet still wound up BP.

Fyi, I am unemployed and a full-time grad student and that's why I still live with my parents. Anyone who has tips on how to make my parents understand that I'm sick and not just "behaving badly", please, please help me here. I feel so helpless