First off, welcome to PC and I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

I have always had an issue with porn in general. I feel like it's degrading and terrible. So my story is about my ex. We had a computer room and our mouse had broke. So we were waiting on the new one to arrive and, when it did, I plugged it in and started messing around making sure it worked. Well it turned out that he had been getting on the computer with the broken mouse (because he knew I wouldn't use it) and had a ton of porn sites up.

I was bawling my eyes out that he would go to such lengths to hide this from me. Not only did he go there, but he intentionally used a computer that he knew I couldn't get on and went through the process of opening all this stuff without a mouse!

The difference is that, when I called him and told him I knew, he didn't get defensive. He actually came home apologizing like crazy. I'm not sure if that's just due to personalities or the fact that this was over the phone and then he came home or what.

I understand that it's not just the fact that he's looking, but the fact that he is intentionally lying about it. Have you explained that fact to him? I found that, when I was overbearing about it, it made them just want it more and lie to me more.

So my current boyfriend, I joke about porn and his porn magazines I have found even though it does kind of bother me. But since I have been so open about it, his magazines have been gathering dust in the corner of the garage. He actually came to me and asked if he could have a few pictures of me because looking at porn when I'm away at a conference makes him feel bad!

So do you feel that you give off this idea that he would be in trouble if you found out? If so, then I can understand why he would feel the need to lie or hide it. But the main thing is can you talk about it? If you can't have open communication about both of your feelings and put everything out on the table, then there are other issues here. Do you feel in your gut that he would cheat on you? All guys need their own thing to themselves. Whether it's a guys night every week, his own 'man cave', porn......they need something to feel independent and like they have control over their own lives (women need the same thing). So if you guys are attached at the hip and constantly together....maybe he needs some space? Maybe he feels smothered and doesn't know how else to express this? It's really hard to tell without knowing you both but hopefully you guys can have an open conversation about it.

My bf really likes older women and kind of 'punk' girls. Every magazine he has is over 40 or MILFs or tattooed girls. And I'm the first girl he has ever dated younger than him. So if I put the fact that he has a thing for older girls with his exes....it would drive me crazy. You need to realize that it's nothing to do with you.