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Jan 20, 2011, 01:13 PM
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 6,543
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Hi Amy ~ Lets start with the "other man" first. Sure you're missing him now, because he gave you that excitement that you're not getting from your marriage. It was dangerous and exilarating ~ it had that element that "you might get caught" type of thing. That made it all the more fun and exciting. It wasn't so much that he was "perfect" for you. He wasn't. It was just more than you had in your marriage right now. That doesn't make it good for you.
Now your husband ~ After we've been married for awhile, the fireworks go out. We get too comfortable with each other, and that's too bad. You need to try to find that excitement again. You two fell in a rut. You stopped working at your marriage, and now you don't know how anymore. You need counseling to learn how to get it back to that fresh, "new" place it once was. That takes work on both your parts. If he won't go to counseling, then YOU go. At least you can find out what needs to be done - and maybe once he sees that you're getting excited about marriage again, HE might join in.  Let's hope anyway. LOL. It certainly can't hurt ~ but usually excitement is catchy. So see what you can do in marital counseling ~ and take it from there. Forget that other guy ~ he's no good for you. He was just a blip in the screen. You can make your life with your husband JUST as "dangerous." LOL God bless and best of luck. Hugs, Lee
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