Bmee2,
Thank you for reading.Everyone around me has received a letter they are not to open unless I were to die.Explaining the long-term damage my illness and childhood has created and how it must've magnified my personalities sensitive tendencies.They have all been thanked deeply and reminded of every kindness and told how it is my illness that is to blame.I hate to think I sparked your self-devaluation.Yes tomorrow is indeed another day.Please push on and chase any tiny helpfulness and happiness you can claim.I didn't want to post these feelings because I don't want to spark a major thought process within anyone.Please push on.

Byzantine,
As per Byzantine...and tears are rolling down my face....you speak the fewest word,and ALWAYS speak to the core of things profoundly.That is my grand fail.Forgiveness of the self.I will click that magic "Byz link" when I can breathe w/o my eyes dripping lol....(Byz's magic links.....lol)I honestly do not know,and can't fathom forgiveness of me.ANYONE else at all....and for any offense.O.K....can do.(Even if I may no longer speak with them due to fear of injury...my heart loves them)But the self....wow....I honestly can't fathom the concept.It's all too 'In my face'.{{{{I.D.K Byz if you realize how valuable you are.How deep I perceive that}}}T.Y for reply.

((((((((((Thine)))))))))Please forgive me for bringing your heart a cold shadow.Truly ...soooo not my desire.I mean that in a very deep way.It hurts me as well to think that you (who always brings to mind a gentle aura)can feel or relate to the feelings I have.The word lovely comes to mind whenever I see your pc name pop up.Thank you for your kind comments.That feels very very warm in my spirit.I....just don't understand how to change this thing with seeing me as anything outside my putrid shadows lol.Grrr.....I'm sorry...it's so in my face.I WILL get better because I CAN'T give up lest I set an example for or bring injury to my sons.So I will keep trying.That's all I suppose I can do.Sooooooo many hugs from you.Soooooo many more aimed AT you.Thanks darlin'....WO.olf

Chronic I appreciate that alot.I am climbing out .I truly am...just fell in a hole sweety.~W~