I'm trying to figure this out in therapy as well. My T thinks that every time I SI, I am punishing myself for something. Something is my fault and I hate myself for it. I never looked at it that way before, but now I see that most times (not every time) I think about it or do it, I am punishing myself for something. I can't figure out the whole reason I hate myself...but some of it is that I have absolutly no self-confidece or self-worth. I can relate to the "mirror horror" because I cry almost every time I see myself.

I guess the first thing I would start with is when you think you first started to feel like this. Then, try to write when you are feeling those emotions, trying to get everything written in the moment. Hope this helps...good luck!