Hi all,

I am new to this site, so I apologize if I am posting in the wrong place. I am still trying to figure this all out

The "short short" story is that for the past 20+ years I have been in an emotionally abusive relationship. I pretty much learned how to deal with it (minimize stress, don't talk about myself, focus on his needs) but now with out oldest son chronically ill (leukemia), it has gotten hard to continue.

Our son as I said is chronically ill. We are exploring all options. We are hoping he can have a bone marrow transplant but that is still up on the air.

Another therapy his hematologist wants to try is experimental. The treatment DOES have have merit as far as outcomes, but I just found out yesterday that this treatment will not be covered by our insurance. That means we will have to bear the brunt of the treatment ourselves, and the costs is over $100,000.

I have already explored if any compassionate organizations will cover the treatment and they will NOT (because it is not FDA approved).

So now I am left with the issue of having to explain to my husband this situation....and I am terrified.

I don't honestly know how to deal with him. Everytime he has to face a stressful situation, he become emotionally abusive to me. He calls me names, tells me I am worthless and threatens to leave with the kids so he can provide for them.

Logically I know this is all bogus (also the kids are both now technically ADULTS, so he can't take them anywhere)....but whenever this happens, I always disassociate and can't defend myself or my children. Then, when it is over, I look back and kick myself because I withdrew into my own little world and wasn't able to defend either myself or my children.

I KNOW this conversation is coming..What I don't know how to do is to stop this cycle from repeating.

If anyone has any experience with a similar situation, I really would like to hear it.