Here are the emails between my "favorite" DIL and me since last night. She and David are VERY sensitive when it comes to me expressing my thoughts and feelings and most times, IMO, go way over the top in their response. (They don't know about STOP, THINK, ACT. )

What I need here is some input on my response to Davie. How would you reword it to minimize her reaction, which in turn, sets David off and his reaction is even worse than hers.

Keep in mind that I'm not on any antidepressants at the moment. However, I have tried to be as objective and CALM in what I've written as I could at the moment.

I'm open to all and any suggestions from you.



I'm in the mood for something really different for Christmas dinner along with the traditional turkey. You got any ideas?? What else for dessert besides pumpkin pie?

Here's some of mine:
Your baked sweet potatoes with the candy on the side for whoever wants it
Garlic Shrimp
Wild rice
Mashed potatoes (Gots ta have 'em!!)
Stove Top Stuffing

What about a salad and/or a vegetable... or something fruity??

For dessert, the usual pumpkin pie and a variety of home made cookies

Oh... and at our place? Sure! Why not? Three-ish.

Haven't talked to John yet, but we might as well count on them. Get back to me soon, ok? wooooohooooooooo I'm getting excited!

Response from Davie this morning:

Tomi:

Either place really is fine for us but I think 5:00 is
a lot better for us. That leaves time for a nap after
the morning (it's a tradition).

I was thinking of making tamales but if you would
rather do traditional that is okay too. If we do
traditional I will cover the turkey and rolls. If we
do mexican I will cover the tamales (chicken and pork)
and tortilla chips and rice or beans. For desert I
could do some cookies and fudge, etc...

Let me know what you decide!

Davie

My "proposed" answer:

Davie, I understand that you all might need a nap after all the doings in the morning, BUT.... and please bear with me. These are MY feelings and I take full responsibility for them. I can deal with them. By Christmas night, for me, I might as well not have had Christmas, ya know? It's like when I told Chuck when he was calling me the night of my birthday to wish me a happy birthday. It was over by then! My birthday may have been happier if he had called me the night before!

For how many years have you been having Christmas with Bob on Christmas Eve? For seven years, I was alone... one person but I was never invited to join you on Christmas morning so that I could enjoy the kids opening their gifts? That is what was so important to me was the excitement of the kids and all the hubbub. I'm beginning to get used to it by now. Please understand that I am not creating drama here. All I'm doing is telling you my feelings that I can and do deal with. It would just be nice to not be left for the very last when everybody is ready to put the Christmas festivities behind them. Please, just mull it around in your mind and please don't get upset. There really is no need. I am not asking for a drastic change for Christmas. My point is that five o'clock seems so late!

In last night's email, I said it in what I thought was a funny way, but I'm inviting you here, to my new place for Christmas.

I found a recipe that sounds yummy for the turkey and I want to fix that. Actually, I'm prepared to fix everything.

I asked you if ya'll eat shrimp. I know David ate fish like it was going out of style for a while until I guess he made himself sick on it and wouldn't eat it. Will all of you eat shrimp?? I don't want to go to the expense of buying it if most of you won't eat it. I'd like to share the recipe with you so you can tell me if it even sounds good to you.

When I mentioned your baked sweet potatoes, I thought you might fix them.

As for the bread, I've already bought enough Mama Bela's Texas Toast to go with the dinner.

I'd like to have your input on the rest of what I mentioned in my last email. Knowing what you know now about what I'm thinking for the menu, what are your ideas/thoughts?