Yo Zen,

Don't know age your hubby is, but I'm a baby boomer and was raised by my grandparents. When my grandfather wasn't knocking me around he was impressing upon me that the woman's role was to take care of the home and the man's role was to bring home the money. Now, while I lost the impression I was given of the woman's role at a pretty young age, the man's role has stuck with me. I make decent money, but I feel like I should make more. I work a full-time day job and have my own part-time company that I work in the evenings, but my wife still has to work and that makes me feel guilty as hell. I know she wants to work, but she also HAS to. I don't want her to have to. I want it to be her choice. It was the way I was raised, the man should be able to support his family all on his own. I feel like a failure because it's not that way. And I know it probably never will be. Maybe this is what your hubby feels?

So you start by writing a note this time? Baby steps Zen. When you talk to him explain that you have a hard time discussing money and why and then next time maybe it will be easier. My wife is a budgetary genius, we're always having to re-organize things and I'd be lost without her help. Hell, my idea of a budget is not ordering pizza this week...

Let us know how it works out.

bp

"The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was
'committed'."