Hey greywolf, I'm both sorry that you have the same problem and glad that there's someone else who has it . We're lucky that our husbands are not mean though, huh? I was also very surprised in the beginnning, I really couldn't understand why he loves me. Still can't.

Change my way of thinking... It's not even thinking, it's a deep conviction that I'm rotten within only no one else sees it - that's why they love me, i've managed to deceive them.
Pufff...

I'm glad that you manage to change your patterns, even only sometimes, it means that it is possible. And I need that right now, to know it IS possible and I won't be stuck here forever.
Wish you sucess!!!