I relate so much to this. My partner is in chronic pain. The problem is that she abused her pain meds and now, when she gets cranky, I can't tell if it's the pills or the pain. She also suffers from depression and I suspect she is bipolar.

She has been in and out of the ER for various complaints, none of them serious. I worry that one day she is going to have a serious issue and she will not be taken seriously. She is looked on as a drug seeker, although her pain is real.

She also had surgery on her back, surgery on her neck, sciatic pain that resolved with trigger injections, chronic migraines, bursitis in her hips and nerve damage in her ribs. Her pain is real, but living with her means of dealing with it is breaking me.

I hope things get better for you. Also, it is a blessing that the DR. will not do the fusion on your hubby. Believe me it makes things so much worse.