I've only posted a few times.
I've been bipolar for years, always stay on my meds, usually under control - haven't had a bad episode in 5 years - this month got very depressed - it turns out the birth control pills my obgyn put me on decreased the effectiveness of my Lamictal by half - i only have to stay on them for 2 more months but it's been rough for me - I've been crying, can't sleep and my job is making me so stressed. I am not yet married a year, but my husband,who I think may be bipolar as well (but would never in a million uears admit it), is borderline abusive sometimes, and I feel like I'm stuck right now, due to financial difficulties.
Yesterday I finally saw my Therapist after almost 2 months and confessed a lot of things to her (I was telling her I was handling a lot of things when I wasn't) so I feel relieved that I did that, but i still feel awful, sad, and don't want to do much of anything including leave the house.
I was able to "work from home" today and am able to slack a bit but next week will be back in the office and probably be just as crazy from the pressure and stress.
My husband - with him it's best just to yes him to death and keep him calm, i walk on eggshells a lot so that he isn't upset.
I am not suicidal - I am just sad and feel kind of hopeless, i want to lay in bed and sleep till i feel better.
I'm the kind of person who will just act like everything is great untill I totally fall apart, and i feel like I'm going to fall apart soon.