Well, this is a tough one. Families can be so complicated, too. You gave out the invitation, right? So let it stand as is. If they can't accept the invitation as is, it's their problem. I know that this may be hard to do as we all want our families to be together, but we can't please everyone.

YOU are making the food, and it's YOUR house, and YOU'RE the one making the invitation. So if they can't accept that or respect you enough to be there, well, then what can you do really? Sounds like they're being very selfish if you ask me.

Umm, this kinda sounds like you are having trouble setting up boundaries, too. Is this the case with them? Just a thought.