I have no family, they have disowned me cause I was homeless for sometime a year ago. I am greatly struggling with that (I have PTSD cause of it)
I asked to move home when I become homeless, they said no that I would "cramp their style".
I asked if I could live in a tent in their back yard, they said hell no.
I always bent back wards for them so many times in the past. I am quiet, never ever caused trouble, I have always loved them but still they did not allow me to move home. They abandon me, they hate me, I am the biggest mistake to them, they would rather pretend that I was never born.
I have not heard from my brother in 10 years, I have no other family.
I have one only friend, who brags about how great her dad is and he does not care too much about me cause I am not of blood relation, he said that. My only friend see's that her dad is the best and will not see how he does not really care for me.
I am not married, so I have no in-law support. I have never been married and I feel that I am too old for marriage cause most people my age are already taken.
I have been unemployed for over a year cause I am so scared of people (I have had many bad encounters with them, mostly rejection) it causes panic attacks for me plus with my depression. I love sleeping, it is my escape from the reality of how people reject me especially my own family.
I ask myself why am I still here on earth. I hate being alive a lot of times.
I have nothing, I feel so alone, I have no family to love me. Even with my only friend I feel that I am just here to say what she wants to hear like how great her dad is, when in reality he is like most everyone else is to me, a person who rejects me.
The biggest rejection in my life is how my family disowned me. Where as with my only friend her father loves her dearly and is always worried about her well being and talks to her daily.
Living is so hard especially when there is no one.
What I want to know is if there is anyone who has gone through this? Is there anyone who has no family? How did you deal with it? What is your advice?
Thank you in advance for any kind advice that you may have.