|
Jan 21, 2011, 02:38 PM
|
 |
|
|
Member Since: Dec 2010
Location: in my skin and soul
Posts: 2,984
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah
When I would be challenged I would react and I kept working with it like I did with all my triggers. I would get challenged and I would have all those feelings come up against it and I would tell myself "okay, you are being challenged and you don't like it." Now I like to be challenged because it gets me thinking and I like to think. Sometimes I don't mind being challenged, but it's usually when it's something I'm not so attached to and am willing to concede I need help understanding better or when it's something that's more intellectual.....when it has to do with deep core issues/emotional issues/beliefs, etc, I still have a huge discomfort with being challenged! I like to think too and think deep......This is what I like about my T, that she does challenge me and make me think, but it sure doesn't mean I always like it at all when she challenges a core issue/feeling!
Also, I think that it has something to do with our self worth and I worked a lot on my self worth. Being challenged is like someone telling you that you aren't good enough. I learned to believe that I am okay the way I am and when I am being challenged it isn't my worth that is being challenged. What is being challenged is my thoughts or beliefs, not my worth.
|
Yep, here it is...I am still learning that it is not my worth that is being challenged - but so often growing up, and in other experiences I have had, it was often my worth that was being challenged and cast into doubt...... as well as my character, by some. So I still have huge issues with self-worth and find it so hard to understand, really believe that it really isn't my worth or my character that's being questioned. Or that if my thoughts and beliefs are being questioned, those don't have to be tied in with my self-worth! Something my T is trying to help me with too....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melbadaze
Yes, Think its about trust too, trusting that the person challenging has the credentials to do so. If I think someones challenging me who hasn't earnt my trust then I can ignore it, I guess its when its someone whom we respect.
|
I think I see what you're saying, Melba. If there's someone I trust/respect more, it is easier to accept them challenging me on something, because it's easier to believe that they aren't doing it blindly, or with a false sort of judgment. Like I do accept my T challenging me, even when I don't like it or it hurts to see what she's saying, because she has earned that right, has earned my respect/trust.
|