Thank you Skeksi, ECHOES, and granite1. I'm not sure how to differentiate between dissociation and attention deficit. Through decades of therapy, not much time was spent targeting dissociation per se. The theme of resistance came up last week. I've always had a powerful, deep, often unconscious belief that "I cannot change", which has rendered my efforts impotent. T pointed to an underlying anger, a rebellion against change, rooted in early anger at my family's neglect of me. I hope I can move beyond it at last. I've been trying for over 30 years of therapy.