Thanks Perna. I hope that I will, yet, look back with greater understanding at the suffering, and make some sense of it, experience redemption in some way. At age 55, it's taking a lot of faith that it will turn around. There's less future ahead. Despite a sad life with a mood disorder and other bad breaks, I had, in years past, remissions with happier, more productive phases. The past few years have seen a steady deterioration in mood and functioning. Nonetheless, I must have hope that perhaps, some serendipitous event could be around the corner, or something that could bring healing and more moments off happiness than I currently feel. I definitely need more batting practice, and less time in the dugout. Any new action would be a step forward. The social isolation is the worst part. I have some social contact, not nearly enough. I read only The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Lewis seems fascinating as a philosopher. I'll look for The Divorce. Much reading has become impenetrable lately.