I have been struggling with Q for a couple of years now ~ as I've seen that my blind spot (from brain surgery) can be tricky. Last week, on Saturday, I began to Q my processing skills when a snowplow backed into me, as I waited for the plow to finish the apartment lot. The insurance company has deemed the plow's driver to be 75% responsible for backing into me; and myself as 25% responsible. I should have honked, yelled, or tried to back up.

I didn't do any of those things ~ as those thoughts didn't come into my mind until he was a few seconds away from me. And that's when I thought, "Oh shezbut, he doesn't see you!". I put it in reverse, and then he slammed into my side mirror and driver's window. I did look the other way, thankfully, as the tiny pieces of glass blew everywhere.

The driver was a complete jerk to me ~ saying that it was all my fault. I should have known that he couldn't see me, etc. At least I'm getting 75% to me, but I live on SSI. Very thin income, there is no money left over from bills.

Now that I've explained my recent drama, perhaps you can give me your ideas. My bf tells me everytime I drive that I need to watch my right side more (as that's my blind spot), so I avoid driving a lot. However, I have split custody of my 2 girls, who primarily live their dad 30 miles away. If I stop driving, I have no idea how I can still play a decent part of their lives. They're a positive part of my life ~ what keeps me from committing suicide when I'm tempted to end it. The situation feels overwhelming to me....like I'm running in circles in panic. I hate it

Please help with a different perspective, to help me see better. Thank you!