I was molested from the time I was three until about 15 years old, when I made my mother break up with her husband - the person who was molesting me. It's not that she didn't know I was being molested - she just didn't care or pretended it wasn't happening. Most people find her to by very nice and funny, a likable person, but to say it midly she is a horrible mother. I have tried to maintain a relationship with her, because of my religious beliefs (and to have a relationship with the rest of my family). Not beliefs she shares because she is a self professed aethiest.
I have worked out many issues of this abuse. I feel as well adjusted as I can given my formative experiences. However I can not forgive my mother. She hasn't changed. It would happen again today.

Something disturbing has just occured that I need to get off my chest. A few days ago we were talking about relationships and she said that she would have stayed with her husband.... then I interuppted her and said - "If he hadn't been a pedophile" and her voice trailed off .... "yes...."
Could somenont tell me how I can maintain a relationship with someone like this? I think she should have gone to jail - unfortunately at that time, no one talked about this stuff. To give you perspective, I am 41 now.
He should have gone to jail. I know I wasn't the only child he molested. I worry about the others...

From all this I had many problems growing up. When I was sixteen I was attacked. Bludgeoned with a 12 lb pipe wrench which left a depressed skull fracture. The man was caught in the act by a police officer - I probably would be dead had he not fortuitously shown up. We showed up for court and the scum didn't have a lawyer, so the hearing was rescheduled. This was around Christmas time. My older brother came in for a visit. My mother told me she rescheduled the date, so I should go to school. It snowed badly that day. When I got home from school, my mother informed me that the case was thrown out cause we didn't show up for court. I was very upset and wanted her to file civil charges, but she didn't want to bother - she said the guy had nothing to sue for. I just wanted to know she cared. This confirmed she didn't. When I turned 18 I signed re-arrest papers, but that thrown out due to his "right" to a quick and speedy trial. My trial has been going on for years.

I would like to sever all ties with this woman, but then I would have to sever all ties with my family, then I would really be alone in this world.