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Ygrec23 · Jan 21, 2011, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shezbut

I have been struggling with Q for a couple of years now ~ as I've seen that my blind spot (from brain surgery) can be tricky. Last week, on Saturday, I began to Q my processing skills when a snowplow backed into me, as I waited for the plow to finish the apartment lot. The insurance company has deemed the plow's driver to be 75% responsible for backing into me; and myself as 25% responsible. I should have honked, yelled, or tried to back up.

I didn't do any of those things ~ as those thoughts didn't come into my mind until he was a few seconds away from me. And that's when I thought, "Oh shezbut, he doesn't see you!". I put it in reverse, and then he slammed into my side mirror and driver's window. I did look the other way, thankfully, as the tiny pieces of glass blew everywhere.

The driver was a complete jerk to me ~ saying that it was all my fault. I should have known that he couldn't see me, etc. At least I'm getting 75% to me, but I live on SSI. Very thin income, there is no money left over from bills.

Now that I've explained my recent drama, perhaps you can give me your ideas. My bf tells me everytime I drive that I need to watch my right side more (as that's my blind spot), so I avoid driving a lot. However, I have split custody of my 2 girls, who primarily live their dad 30 miles away. If I stop driving, I have no idea how I can still play a decent part of their lives. They're a positive part of my life ~ what keeps me from committing suicide when I'm tempted to end it. The situation feels overwhelming to me....like I'm running in circles in panic. I hate it

Please help with a different perspective, to help me see better. Thank you!

Hi, Shezbut! Quite a pickle, and I'm sorry to hear about it. I really don't comprehend how the snowplow driver could try to blame it on you. When someone's backing up (in any kind of vehicle) they're responsible for the safety of people and vehicles behind them. It's true though that a whole lot of people involved in accidents are so upset and bothered that they burst out and blame everything on the other person, as the snowplow driver did to you.

So if I were you I wouldn't take his outburst that seriously. Based on your description, I don't see how this incident has anything to do with your blind spot. It may have something to do with your reaction time, but not your blind spot. Was this guy just backing into you? That's the way it sounds. And yes, people may have an obligation to try and avoid an accident even if it's really someone else's fault, but I don't think you should take it personally.

These kinds of fender benders happen (literally) a million times a year just in our country, forget the rest of the world. I really don't see any reason why this should impact on your relations with your children. Your car will be fixed. No one will take your driver's license way. In the future you'll be much more vigilant (we all are after that kind of incident) and it will never happen again. I do know how worrisome such an accident can be, but do try to calm down as much as you can, it's really a very everyday occurrence. Take care!